Tuesday, 10 September 2013

I don't know what I'm actually doing!!

 So back to school time was quickly approaching, for most people anyway. Not me. My son is too young to begin school just yet. Although he really thought he was starting school, and it took us a long time to convince him that he was starting next year, not this year. And also there was a period where we had to assure him no matter how much he said it, he was in fact 4 not 5 years of age.
 I decided to go on line to the District 2 website and fine the information about enrolling your child in school. I have faint memories of my sister not realizing you had to do it like a year in advance and rushing to the school a week before it was about to start and trying to get my neice a spot. I, like my sister, am also lacking in the school registration ESP other parents seem to have acquired over the years. So in being me and trying to be prepared well in advance!
Yes, I have begun my Christmas shopping already, thanks for asking!
 I begin searching the website, and I cannot find the detailed information on when or how to register, I do eventually find a registration form however, so I fill it out and send it in.
 I get a call about a week later from the school asking me to bring in his vaccination card, and honestly, although I should have thought about it a bit more, the only thought that went through my head was, "I have a year to get it in. Plenty of time!"
 So the day after kindergarten begins I come home and there is another message on my phone saying my son missed orientation, and they were wondering where he was.
 I called back and left a message explaining the error and appologizing. And thought that was that.
 Yesterday my husband who was home sick calls and tells me the school just called. Not only that, they called my parents house as well as they were listed as the emergency contact.
 I call the woman back and explain the error, and tell her I left a message last week and I guess she didn't get it and she says "No. I got your message."
 Which confused me as to why I was now having this conversation with her, but here we are just the same.
 So I explain that my son really wanted to begin school and was heart broken when he couldn't this year, so I ask "Can I just bring him tomorrow and he can start now."
 Honestly I have been saving money for a tattoo and I would have gone out last night and bought him all his supplies with that money!
 She said she was unsure, put me on hold, I assume asked someone, and came back and said no. I thought to myself, "His age has not changed in the last hour. If I hadn't said anything you would have taken him without question, so why can't he start now?" But kept my mouth shut and ended the very confusing conversation.
 What can I say, I am the queen at first impressions!

Friday, 19 July 2013

The customer may not always be right, but they aren't morons!

So once upon a time, the motto of pretty much evey company was "The customer is always right!" The issue with this is known by anyone who has ever worked in any company where they have had to deal with customers. Customers, are sometimes wrong, and they took this motto and felt it gave them license to be obnoxious assholes!
The motto itself has fallen to the wayside. However, now I feel that allot of times we are being met with customer service representatives treating their customers like morons when the customer tries to get fair service.
Yesterday I went into a store to purchase clothes for my son. They had shorts on super cheap and I had a coupon on my phone for an additional 20% off. So I was stocking up on a few summer items for next year. I picked out 3 pairs of shorts and a t-shirt and went to the cash. As soon as she began ringing me in I had the coupon up on my phone and showed it to her. When the cost came up I thought it seemed a bit high, but paid and left. My husband also commented it seemed high, and I took out the receipt and noticed they didn't give me the 20% off. I went back in and a different woman assisted me. I told her I had the coupon on my phone, but the discount wasn't taken off. She looked, said it wasn't then said "You have to actually show her the coupon before she rings it in you know."
I looked at her and said "I did."
Then the other girl turned around and said "It's my fault, she showed it to me, I forgot to add it."
I appreciated the other girl letting this woman know I had in fact showed it to her, but I couldn't believe that she immediately assumed I was just so stupid that I was in the wrong.
People really need to learn about customer service. It seems like no one cares about putting pride into their work anymore. Maybe she was just having a bad day, I'm not sure. I wasn't rude about it, I just went back and asked if I could get my discount, I was surprised by the reaction by the woman that served me.

Saturday, 29 June 2013


Yesterday while at work I see a post from the SPCA saying they got 11 cats in their first 20 minutes of being open. So I decided that since it was payday that Darby and I would bring them some cat food. I pick Darby up from daycare and we go to the grocery store and I bought about $30 worth of cat food and some bleach and went brought it to the shelter. Darby walked  in carrying a bag full of food and a worker ,looked at us and said "Just put it in the corner." So we looked at the animals and left, Darby is now begging me for a kitty. We have a cat named Banshee, but Banshee sleeps with me in the bed, and Darby wants a kitty of his own that will sleep in his bed. He told me he would bathe it everyday and it could wear his Spiderman jammies.
So we come home to dog pee on the floor. I clean it, only after Darby steps in it, and we continue with our night. I remember there was a sale at a store and last night was the last night of the sale. I wanted to get some clothes for my son for fall so I asked him to come with me so he could pick out what he wanted. He chose a shirt with kitties on it, a skateboarding skeleton, and a Shark polo shirt. He was running around and playing, which makes it hard to too around, but I found what I wanted. A sweater, a t-shirt and some old lady earrings and we went to the cash. In the line my 4 year old sees some car toys. I ask him to put them back and when I go up to pay the tears begin. Then something completely out of character. He hit me, kicked me and attempted to bite me. This is new. I have never seen him act like this. So we are making our way out, he's crying and screaming because he wants me to buy him a toy. I refuse and we are at the doors and a man comes over, grabs my sons hands pulls them off the door, puts his hand on his back and shoves him and says "I'm closing this, it's time for you to go." I stood there in shock as the jerk shakes his head and throws his hands in the air and marches away. I get to the car, wrestle my son into his seat, also something very new, and call my husband and tell him what just happened. Within minutes he's at the store.The man in question was the store manager on duty. While my husband is inside dealing with him, I am in my car on the phone with head office.
Last night I barely slept. Mostly do to my dog's thunder anxiety, and my neighbor who desperately needs a new muffler idling his car for an hour.
Today I woke up unbelievably cranky.
I'm PMSing and it happens unfortunately!
Eventually I calmed down, took a nap, and we went to see a movie at the theater.
20 minutes until the end of the movie, the movie theater popcorn I love met up with my IBS. I think I may have to stop eating my beloved popcorn. :(
The moral!
Don't leave the house. Just stay inside and hide! This is why I don't go anywhere!

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Inappropriate comments

My son wears glasses. He wears glasses because he needs them to see.
I am aware of this.
I was with him for the first appointment when he got drops that dilated his pupils and he couldn't see.
I was with him when we went to store after store to find green glasses, which he now refuses to wear because the second pair we got for free are Spider Man glasses.
I paid the very large bill because his prescription in each eye is different and the lenses have to be specially made and they cost $100 a pop! (yes, $100/lense... I know it's expensive!)
I was there when he went back to see if the prescription was correct.
And I was on my way to yet another appointment with him on Wednesday morning.
Unfortunately I had forgotten the night before I wasn't coming into work the next morning, and had the bank card on me, as well as a car full of office supplies I had picked up the night before. So I quickly stopped into work to drop this stuff off with my son before we went to the optometrist.
My co-worker, who doesn't seem to do so well with adults, is great with young kids. My son is extremely shy, but he had him talking and running around very quickly. Which impressed me quite a bit. Then he had to ruin it. He looked at me, with my son standing right there and said in front of 5 other people "He's blinking allot. That's not normal, he shouldn't be doing that."

1! He's not deaf

2! I didn't notice.. OH WAIT! YES I DID! I'M HIS MOTHER!!!!!!

If there is anyone in the world that is gonna notice that there is something going on with his eyesight it's ME!!! I noticed when he initially began squinting and blinking, although we really hoped it was nothing and just our imagination.
Also, in case you missed it, I took the day off to take him to the OPTOMETRIST!
I just couldn't believe a grown man would point that out to my 4 year old son, then say it's not normal. I mean come on dude! It's not rocket science.
So of course today he asks me how the appointment went, I say "Not great. he has to wear an eye patch for the next 5 weeks."
His response "I knew it! When I saw him blinking like that I knew there was something not right. Kids shouldn't be doing that if their normal!"
I just looked at him. Apparently with a pretty mean look on my face cause he got the hint and walked away.

I just don't get some people.

Friday, 10 May 2013

Hair everywhere!

For Christmas my husband got me a $200 gift certificate to a local spa.
A few months later we came to the decision that we are going to go to Vegas for Punk Rock Bowling.
With this came a decision, I wanted to lose weight, and wear shorts on my vacation.
I have been hiding my legs for many years, time for this to end!
So I began working out, and made an appointment to have all my unwants hair ripped violently from my body so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving while away!
The issue here is, as this time draws closer, I have to first grow out my hair to have it waxed. And since stupid me, I made an appointment for everything from my armpits down, that means there is lots of hair in places where ther is usually none, or very little anyway.

I'm so fuzzy.
And I never realized that most of the shirts I own that are work appropriate are tank tops. So in this sunny weather I am still wearing cardigans.
And my armpit hair is blonde for some reason, which baffles me to no end.
There's just so much hair, just... Ewwww! Icky icky ick!

Wednesday, 3 April 2013


So I would have been 14. I beleieve it was summer time.
My sister and I were grounded.
If I remember correctly on of the many times we had been grounded that year.
Either drinking or smoking, maybe both.
What? I was 14!
My parents were going to go see the new Kevin Costner movie that had come out, and since they wanted to keep an eye on us they made us go with them.
The movie.
135 minutes of bad acting, poor story line, and just all around badness!
After the movie was over, as we exited the Riverview mall...

Yes the mall, it wasn't always one big giant call center!

My father looked at my sister and I and said "Well. I think you've been punished enough! Grounding is over."

So thank you Waterworld. You got me off my grounding early when I was 14.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

tap tap tap SMACK! OW!

So here is the story to the best of my memeory.
It was about 12 or 13 years ago.
I arrive at my friends house as we are going downtown. My friend Nick asks me "Katie. Will you punch me in the face?"
I ask "What?"

Nick says "I've never been punched int he face before, will you punch me in the face?"

Tap tap tap tap tap SMACK!

Nick yells "OW! Will you stop that!" at John, who wanted to be the one to punch him in the face, and since the initial discussion had come up John had been looking for opportunities to punch Nick in the face, and always got a running start.

I can't remember if I agreed immediately, or told him I would think about it, however the punch came later in the night. I think my reasoning was if I was gonna do it Nick should have a few drinks in him first.

So finally after leaving the bar, standing in Robinson Court, the time came for Nick to be punched in the face.

Tap tap tap tap SMACK!

Nick yells "Stop that!" at John who tried to get another shot in.

So I punched him. He falls to the ground yelling "Ow, my ear!"

I guess my aim was off.

So I do it again.

Nick very pleased of having been punched in the face goes home.

The next day I stop by his work to see how he is. He has a cut on his cheek, I assume from one of the many rings I wore back then. And a small bruise around his eye and is smiling from ear to ear. He's been telling everyone at work how he got punched the night before, and I am being met with "Why would you do that to him?" from his co-workers.
However both of us were laughing about the entire thing, so I guess it was all good.

Tomorrow I will tell you the story of Nick huddling in the corner in terror and John in his underpants.

Monday, 11 March 2013

Well slap my bum and call me Sally!

So I have been trying very hard to try and be a bit more at peace with just my over all life.
I can be a pretty negative person, so I am trying to keep and eye on my attitude. Which has been hard the last few weeks as I have been sick as a dog.
I have allot of people who don't talk to me, not sure why, they just stopped talking to me. It has been years, and I really don't care anymore. Like me, hate me, whatever.
So imagine my shock the other night when someone appologized to me for treating me poorly almost 2 years ago!
I couldn't believe it!
I knew exactly what he was talking about, that was the moment I decided any friendship I thought I had with these people was obviously not there, and we haven't spoken since. Not that we were ever good friends to begin with, I think we had only met face to face on maybe 2 or 3 ocassions. Basically what happened was, I walked up to them to say hi, and they looked at me, then looked away and pretended I wasn't there. There may have also been a slightly hurtful remark made by one of them, but I won't get into that.
So I walked away, and that was that. I have seen them since and we just don't acknowledge each other and move on. Which kind of sucks because prior to that I actually really liked them and thought they were nice people. So at the moment when an appology was offered the other night, I was amazed! I was thankful it was made, and he may not remember doing it as he was drunk, I was not so I remember it quite clearly. It really helped restore a little bit of faith in a group of people I had lost all faith in.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Cause I'm kind of mean!

So at my work I regulary work with 3 other men.
One of the men has a deal with our head office that he can take a truck home at night. He lives 10 minutes outside of town.
So, trucks being trucks, ocassionally one needs to go into tthe shop for repairs. Yesterday morning there was scheduling confusion, and the a truck was in the shop. This person showed up for work, and another driver did not. So after looking at the schedule I moved some things around and let this guy know that what he was supposed to do at 12:30 has been cancelled, and that the other drivers responsibilities were being done as they were priority at the moment.
So he assumed he was taking it.
Ummmm.... No!
You're done for the day at 12. Cause the other driver missed almost a full day of work the day before, and he doesn't have a special deal worked out with head office the way the other guys does concerning his paychecks.
So he comes back at 12:30, met by a very angry me as he purposely made the other guy late. I informed him he was not being paid for the extra time he decided to add, and he was of course mad cause he's being sent home, and because he didn't get away with his little trick.
So he puts his coat on and sits at my desk and begins tapping his fingers glaring at me.
I ignore him and continue working away.
He goes into another room, sighing loudly every few seconds, loudly opening and closing drawers.
I continue to ignore him.
He goes into the kitchen and begins playing music loudly, pacing and looking out at me every few minutes glaring and throwing his hands into the air.
I continue to ignore him.
This goes on for 4.5 hours!
The reason for this. He expected me to drive him home.
Please note 3 things.
-The deal he has worked out with head office is great, but I don't get my gas reimbursed for my 20 minute trip, and it is not my responsibility to make time for this in my already hectic day.
-He could have jumped in the truck with another driver and gotten a lift, but refused to do so.

He just expected me to jump to make his life more convenient.
I'm sorry but not in my job description.
So that was my day yesterday, watching him pace, sigh, and throw his hands up in fustration cursing under his breath. And me trying really hard not to let him see me laughing.

Monday, 11 February 2013

Pretty dangly ear ornaments

When I was 11 for grading my aunt took me and my sister to get our ears pierced. We went to Shoppers Drug Mart, and had them pierced with the hole punch staple device at the cosmetics counter.
I got mine done, then my sister got 1 done, then after about 30 minutes of convincing, she tearfully agreed to get the other one done.
It was sad.
The moment you realize you have a higher pain tolerance then your older sister. So you sneak into her room when she's asleep at night flick her in her sore ears and run away!
No... I didn't actually do that. However considering the numerous times she tried to kill me as a child, I probably should have.
Just saying...
And to my sister who is probably reading this... LUV YUUUUUU!

So when I was 16 and able to legally walk into a store and get my ears pierced with the ear hole puncher of death, I went with my friend Miriam and got 2 more in each ear.
I did not want my parents to find out. Which was stupid, cause they were right there on my freakin head! And I had pretty short hair at the time.
So I showed them to Miriams mother and made her swear secrecy from my parents. Little did I know my mother and her mother were in a secret club of tattling mothers who looked out for each other and ratted out  innocent teenagers! So as I was climbing into my mothers car Miriams mom yelled out, "Tell Katie I love her new ear holes!"



So as I was slinking down in my seat probably turning numerous colors going from anger, to fear, to terror. My mother said "What did she say?"


No, that's not what I said. I showed her, she sighed, rolled her eyes and said "Don't tell your Dad until he notices." Which was approximately 6 months later.
No joke!

Which is pretty good considering I had my belly button pierced for well over a year until my sister told them what I had done. In her defense it was not in a mean way, she was actually sticking up for me at the time.

Still with me?
Yeah, that's all. No real point.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

That's my boy! The one beating up your kid...

So last night we got a very upsetting note home from my sons daycare.
My son. The little boy who is 3.5 years old. The one I love more then anything is... A bully!
The note did not say he was a bully, it did say he was beating up other kids at daycare, and unfortunately in the 3 months he's been there, it's the 2nd time we've gotten a note like this back.
This absolutely kills me! How can my son be a bully? After years of being bullied myself, I somehow am raising a bully?
So the first question, how do I explain to a 3.5 year old why this is bad?
Well, if there is one thing known by anyone who has ever met my son, he is a Momma's boy! He wants me around 24/7, he loves me more then he loves anyone else. When he is hurt, upset, sick, or even just wants to play, I am the one he wants next to him. Something I love, and try to discourage at the same time. Quite frankly I don't want him to be a 30 year old man that comes running to him Mommy every time someone upsets him. I want him to be a successful and capable adult. I deal with mommas boys at work everyday. It's not good.
So we had a chat. And I explained to him that when Mommy was a little girl people used to hit her and yell at her the same way he is doing to the kids at daycare. It made her very sad and she used to cry. Now finding out that he is doing that to other kids makes me very sad and want to cry.
He wrapped his arms around my neck and said "I'm really sorry Mommy."
So I thought, great, made a little headway.
Then moments later he kicked me when he got mad I wasn't feeding him candy for supper.
May have to approach this differently...
So after he fought and refused to do his chores, which involves keeping his room and play area clean, and spent the night yelling at his father and I because we wouldn't let him watch cartoons, we fought with him for 30 minutes to get him to go to bed.
So... Some new rules are being implemented in my house.
Basically, at home we let things with him slide because we feel it's harmless. However perhaps us letting it slide is making him feel entitled around the kids at daycare.
We're taking a really hard look at ourselves, and although we feel that overall we're pretty good parents, we may be too relaxed in some of our rules.
So here it goes. I'll let you know how things are progressing in the future.

Sunday, 3 February 2013


I was having a conversation with my husband last night and a question came to mind.
How do bad parents feel about good parents?

That sounds like a terrible question. But you hear all the time "She's an awful mother!"
And frankly there are just some bad parents out there, but who are we to judge what is good and what is bad.

I believe that what's social services is here for.
I could be wrong.
And why does the mother always get the blame?

I babysat for a friend for a short period.
Their child was the same age as mine. He came to me everyday smelling awful! His clothes wreaked of cigarette smoke, and at 2.5 years of age he had the worst case of cradle cap I had ever seen matting down his hair. They rarely sent diapers, and even his changes of clothes felt greasy and smelled bad.
He would pick up pencils and pens and smoke them. And he would take his sippy cups and hold it in the air and say "Cheers!" and take a shot.
Yeah, a 2 year old shouldn't know that.
Just my personal opinion.
He knew that, but he knew none of his colors, shapes, where his nose was on his face. Things I had been teaching my son, no one had ever taken the time to teach him.
So I began washing his clothes, bathing him, and trying to teach him things with my sons help.
To me, his parents were "Bad parents".
I guess it's all how we look at it though.
To them, they feed him and keep a roof over his head. I do the same. On the weekends, I'm still doing it. So are his parents, but they are also having parties and showing their 2 year old how to take a shot.
And trust me, it's not like I haven't left my son with a sitter and gone out and partied and acted stupid! We all need some time to remember who we used to be!
This question came to mind as friends of ours who are big partiers are about to have a baby, I think any day now. I asked if they knew about the big change that was about to happen. He said he thought they did, but then when we discussed it we realized that they have 3 friends with a kid. Us, and 2 others. The ones their around the most never stopped partying. You wouldn't even know they had a kid! The kid spends most of her time with a sitter, cause the 2 of them are always out partying. Mid day, you will most likely find them at a bar, not at home with the kid.
Now, I don't know this other couple well, I have met them a handful of times in passing, so I only had a basic idea of what they were like. Most of this was told to me last night.
The other 2 couples they know are us, and another couple that are actually even bigger home bodies them we are.
I know, who knew people could be worse then my husband and I?
It can be done. the mixture of who you are, and children. I have a friend who has found the perfect balance, and I really envy her, cause I have a hard time with it because I have spent so much time at home over mothering, that I have mommy guilt when I am not around.
However it brings to mind the question, the parents that would have to sit and think about it when trying to pick their child out in a crowd, how do they feel about us who wouldn't let our toddlers wander off into a big group of people by themselves?

Monday, 28 January 2013

If the cops don't catch ya!

So I have this neighbor. He's new, and renting a house 2 doors down. Every 3 weeks or so he brings the bar home with him. And they all drive to the house, and stand outside drinking and yelling. They are drunk upon arrival, drink until usually 5-6am, and drive home.
They wake up the entire neighborhood. They stand outside yelling every word, and even though the cops are called, (Not by me, but I have had neighborswho have told me they called) they don't seem to ever come.
So here is my solution.
Not to them partying.
But to them drinking and driving and seemingly getting away with it.
If you have proof, not just cause your neighbors and ass and you feel like it. But if you see someone drinking and driving. See them get out of the car with drink in hand, or stumble out and stagger or crawl to the door. Swerving all over the road. Actual knowledge, no doubt in your mind that they are in fact drunk and just drove you should take a can of spray paint, go to their car and write in big letters "I drank and drove" and the date!

Now, my husband does not feel this is a good idea, as we ourselves have pushed the limit. And he's right, I have in my day done very stupid things. However, this was when I was very young, very stupid, and thought I was invincible. The people doing this in my neighborhood, are not young, stupid yes, but not young! They are 30's and 40's, and at this point old enough to know better.

I really wouldn't care so much if it wasn't for my neighbor. He's an alcoholic that had his license taken from him. My son was 4 months old. We were on our way out the door, and I forgot something and turned around to get it. When I turned back around his car came speeding over my front lawn, he swerved to avoid hitting my house and instead hit the fire hydrant in front of his. If I hadn't forgotten that item I would have been standing on my front walkway with my son when his car came. It was stupid luck! The cops came. He went to jail. His car was towed, and his license taken away for life. However that was the exact moment when I lost any and all patience for anyone driving under the influence! As I stood there with my husband behind me on my front porch, both of us very thankful that I turned around and had to grab something.
Yes, have a beer, even have 2 depending on your tolerance. However if you have a buzz going, lets just opt for a cab, or walk. There's a large obesity problem in North America, maybe you could use the excercise.
I feel if the cops don't catch ya, but you walk out the next day with punishment for your crime, then maybe it would cut back on people attempting to do it!
Just saying.
It's not vandalism if it's true.
I think.
Don't quote me on that.

Monday, 21 January 2013

Do you think things like this.

So a few months ago I am driving on the highway on my way to make a bank deposit for work. I notice on the side of the road a blue reclining chair.
Just sitting there.
Being all chair like!

So I thought to myself, "How odd! I wonder if someone is coming back to pick it up?" Cause it seemed reasonable it may be missed, but also it was sitting perfectly straight facing traffic. It seemd like it was put there on purpose.
Then I decided that on the weekend I would like to get bunny slippers, a silk robe with a dickie, a pipe and a newspaper and have my husband drop me off at the chair for about an hour.
It's simple. It would be one of those things that if you witnessed it you would never forget it, and why not! I wanted to sit in the chair smoking a pipe reading the paper on the side of the highway! It seemed like the only real option in this blue chair on the side of the highway situation.

So fast forward about 2 months later.

We have 2 Zellers stores in our town.
One was in liquidation as they are both closing. So the one in Dieppe was reducing their prices by quite a bit. Santa made a killing on the sales!
So it comes closer to the end and all their fixtures are now for sale as well.
So again, on my way to do a deposit for work I notice that the giant Z for Zellers on the side of the buiding is gone.
So I wonder. Did someone buy the Z? Was the Z missing before and I am only noticing now? Where's the Z?
So I have concluded that someone offered them $20 for the Z, and they sold it to the person in question. And now there is someone in town with a giant light up Z in their living room. So of course, I now have to find this person and hang out at their place and have my picture taken with the Z as proof!
You have got to set goals for yourself in life! And my goal is to hang out in a living room with a giant red light up Z!

Am I the only one who thinks things like this?
Should I make an appointment to see a Doctor?

Friday, 18 January 2013

How many times has your mother died exactly?

Everybody lies at some point in their life. If you are saying right now you never lie, then you are currently lying you liar!
But then you get those career liars! The ones that lie so much they have either become experts, or are known for being liars.
I worked in call centers for many years. And the worst job I had for dealing with liars was working in a pay as you go department for a cellular provider.
People would by cards worth so much money. The money on the card was good for 30 days. If you added a new card within the 30 days any money still on the account would roll over and take on the new expiration date which was in 30 days from when the last card was added.
Get it?


Well I don't know what to tell you, just keep reading.

The most common excuse I got when someone forgot to add a new card within the 30 days was "But my Mom died!" The second most common "But my Grandmother died!". This excuse was used so we would credit back the money lost, most times equaling less then $1.
They were killing off family members for mere pennies! Classy bunch of people!
It was my absolute biggest pet peave with the job. Especially since we left notes after every conversation and you would see some people's mother had died the week before every month for the last handful of months.
I got a transfer to a new department and had to start training. The training room had been double booked the morning we were supposed to begin training, so we had to jump on the phone for a very short period of time. In the 1 hour I was on the phone 3 people killed off their mother and 1 killed off their grandmother.
And why only the mother or grandmother? How come your dad never kicked the imaginary bucket?
I don't get it!

And now for your amusement, Henry Rollins ladies and gentleman!

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Nice chest hair.

Part of my job involves conducting interviews.
This was something I was excited to do at first. That ended quickly.
The first thing I realized is that I am not always the best judge of character. The first person I ever hired, talked allot during his interview, and was so nervous he was shaking. I just assumed it was his nerves.
He loves to talk, and complain, and make wild over the top hand gestures, and repeats himself over and over and over again. There are days when I have listened to the same rant 3 or more times! And he'll say his speal, then start it over from the beginning, so I get to listen to it again!
Also, when I first began I would get upset at how lazy these people were. They usually came in in jeans, something I would never do. And on more then 1 occassion they were in desperate need of a bath. Also, they seemed to feel they were God's gift to trucking!

1st rule: An interview does not mean you have the job. Do not walk in assuming you do, and demanding more money then the wage offered. It will end the interview, and your chances very quickly!

My husband would have to talk me down, because I got upset with how these men were dressed. He would explain that truck drivers are different, and a trucking job is something that means you need a certain amount of comfort as you are sitting in a small space, without bathing for days at a time. That's fine, but when you get home, do the rest of the world a favor and take a quick dip in the tub.

2nd rule: If you smell bad and I can't stand being near you for a short interview, I will not want to be near you any other time.

3rd rule: I don't care if it's a work from home job and you plan to be in your pajamas everyday! Take the time to get dressed before you come!

There is nothing wrong with checking in to see if a decision is made. If you call me 5 times just the day of the interview alone, you are no longer a candidate! At this point you are an irritation that clearly does not realize I have work to do, and I am trying to get it done.

4th rule: You can be to overeager! Respect the interviewers time.

My absolute biggest pet peave whether you are employed here, or trying to get the job, is showing off your chest hair! Button up your shirt, this is not a freakin disco! I have actually had meetings with my current guys and told them to button up there shirt. This does not mean it has to be choking you, it just means button it enough that I don't have to see your chest hair, the gold chain you insist on wearing cause it "cool", or that you don't look sloppy or lazy.
It's not a company rule, it just bothers me!

5th rule: I would love to hear stories about your time at Studio 54, but I don't need to see the outfit you wore that time you picked up a girl who turned out to be Miss Jay!

I just did 5 interviews for a position. I had 1 out of the 5 candidates walk in well dressed, clean, he was polite, and very qualified. I had another guy come in who was just as qulaified, however when the decision came down between the 2, I chose the first guy. I liked the second guy, but he came in in jeans, an old tattered shirt, unbuttoned well past the usual comfort point. I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple!
When it comes down to it, I don't want to ever have a conversation with you about the way you're dressed when you come in for work. Or the way you smell! Not applicable to this guy, however I have had a few stinky men walk in looking for a job!

6th rule: Perhaps the most important! Do not bad mouth your current employer!

I assume there is a reason you want to leave, and persoanlly I'm not going to ask. If you begin bad mouthing the company, your boss, or anything else, well then what's gonna stop you from trashing this company once you begin working here and we do something you don't like. Just don't do it!

Anyway, that is all for now!

Saturday, 12 January 2013

Kids = No money left

So yesterday I took my son to get his eyes checked. We discovered that he like myself is far sited. It's worse in his left eye then in his right, which oddly is the same for me.
Also he has an astigmatism, which is also worse in his left eye then his right. I don't have that.
I was caught a little off guard because up until just over a year ago I had perfect vision. And the prescription I have is so slight, that I really only need my glasses to read, and drive. I tend to always wear them though because I do notice a difference when I take them off, and after awhile I do feel a bit of a strain. His father has perfect vision as well, however my husband is adopted so we have no idea what may run in his family.
We first go to Brunswick Optical, a place recommended by my mothers friend. My son was very picky. He wanted green glasses. They had to be grass green or lime green like the dinosaur on his shirt.
The woman was such a sweetheart. She really tried, however my son just wasn't having it. We told him that some of them they could order in the right color, however if it wasn't the right color at the store he wouldn't put them on.
Next we went to Vogue Optical. (Oddly there were 3 optical places all within a block of each other) they were closed, so we went to Hakim Optical.
I walked in with my 3 year old son. A woman with bleach blond hair sporting various colors of pink greeted me. I told her my son needed glasses, and he would like them in green. She stood blocking the wall with the kids glasses and said "We don't have green glasses that will fit him. You need to go somewhere else."
I asked "Can you order some in green?"
Her "No I can't."
Me, "Well can he try some on and see if maybe there is a style he likes?"
Her, "We don't have anything for you here. You need to go somewhere else."


What do I say here? Honestly.
I have a 3 year old little boy who needs glasses, I myself am wearing glasses, and I am being told by a woman that works at a store that purely sells glasses and contacts to get out.

So I left.
What was I supposed to do? Cause a scene in front of my son? Throw a tantrum like a child?
I will be speaking with their head office. I was not poorly dressed, I was freshly bathed, and maybe she didn't take kindly to the zombie roller girl on my shirt, or maybe my leopard print coat is not her taste. I do however have a pretty good job, as does my husband, and I was a customer just asking to be treated with a little respect.

I then went to Vogue Optical. We actually found him a pair of grass green glasses with lime green polka dots on them. He was so excited when he saw those, we were able to look around a bit more. And found some blue spiderman glasses. So he got 2 pairs.

His astigmatism is pretty severe according to the woman at the counter. The have to send the glasses away and have the lenses specially made, especially where each eye is different. So even with the buy 1 pair get one free, with the cost of the lenses for each pair of glasses made the price sky rocket! And we paid over $300. Not to mention the $100 we spent on his eye test yesterday.
So this is quite honestly costing us a fortune. And last night I discovered I don't have vision on my medical coverage. My husband has $200 for our son on his, I have nothing. So we will get back $200 of the almost $500 we have put out in the past 24 hours, but the majority of it is lost.
Why the crap does my work not cover vision? Especially when they began naming the random stuff that is covered! Stuff I have never heard of, the absolute 1 and only thing they do not assist with in any way is vision! That's awesome considering now 2/3 of my family wears glasses!

Anyway, the moral. kids are expensive, and avoid Hakim Optical.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

All the way in!

Tuesday night I was laying in bed watching t.v. I was watching Modern Family and my intention was to turn the t.v. off when it was done. Then this completely random show came on called The Middle.
At first I was surprised that the mom from Everybody Loves Raymond, and the janitor from Scrubs got their own show. Then I thought how nice it was that all these sitcoms actors get a second chance with shows that are not a spin off of the show they were on initially. So no, this is not a show about how Raymond's wife left him for the janitor she met at the hospital while having her left leg amputated.
At first I was unimpressed. The over acting by the children on the show did not appeal to me in the least. And I'm quite sure the person playing youngest child is actually a very short 30 year old man. Also the story line seemed weak, that is until Brooke Shields came on.
Yup! Booke Shields was the white trash, mulleted (Is mulleted a word? It has to be right? Mulleted: A person wearing a mullet. I may have to look that up.) neighbor with a accent I could only place as deep south trailer park who threatened to punch in the boobs of the main female character.
That's right! She was going to punch her boobs in!
How could you knot watch something that had a line like that? And for the rest of show they continued to reference how she didn't want to have her boobs punched in, or how she was in fact going to punch her boobs in and I thought "This is fantastic!" Cause I am easily amused when I should be sleeping, and because well, come on! She was gonna punch her BOOBS IN!
So now I have decided I need to use this more in my everyday life. I mean there have to many opportunities to threaten to punch someone's boobs in that I have never before thought of cause it never occured to me I could threaten such a thing!
Like if you go through a drive through and they screw up your order. What better time to threaten to punch someones boobs in?
Also, just in this alone I have mentioned punching someones boobs in 8 times and it still makes you smile a little every time! Am I right?

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Then I can get my driveway plowed for FREE!

When I leave for work in the morning I notice a small mob gathers in front of a house close to the corner.
At first I assume they were protesting the rights of the vertically challenged as some of them were abnormally short for protestors. As it turns out they were elementary school children waiting for a bus with their parents!
Who knew?
So yesterday I observed the owners of the home attmepting to pack their car for waht appeared to be a skiing trip.
Cause they were packing skis! That's how!
You know you just asked in your head how I knew it was a skiing trip, don't lie.
The parents and children seemed to feel they had dibs on the driveway owned by the soon to be skiers. And were standing in there way, refusing to move. I know this because the bus was coming and I was sitting at a stop sign watching this (In awe of the sheer lack of manners by the parents they were instilling in their children before my very EYES!) waiting for the bus to pass. Then the bus came around the corner and blocked the intersection, because there was a car on the road and the driver refused to go around the car!
I know! A whole lotta jerks in this story!
So then I decided that if School District 1 feels it has the power to assign the driveway as a bus stop, then in order to keep it safe for the children, they they should have to plow the driveway when it snows!
It's only fair.
So I am now trying to figure out how to make my driveway a bus stop for a school, so I can get my driveway cleared for free!
I know, I'm a genius! Thank You. Really? The Nobel prize, for me little ole me and my genius! I couldn't, well... Maybe just the money.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Are you still with me?

In grade 1 I went to Bessborough school. I had a teacher who was apparently named Mrs. Hore. Something I wouldn't actually remember, accept when I was about 12 or 13 my family was driving in a car, or possibly a van, and my father said "Girls? Do you remember your first grade teachers name?"
My sister and I responded "No, why?"
My Mother was saying "Tom! Stop!"
My Father laughing said "Mrs. Hore."
Which sent my sister and I into a fit of laughter. Then he said "Do you know what her first name was?"
My mother getting louder "Tom! Don't you dare!"
My sister and I "What! What!"
My dad "Ima!"
Which of course made my sister and I laugh until tears were streaming down our faces, my mother was glaring at my father, and my father was grinning from ear to ear.
Now I have no clue if my 1st grade teachers name was actually Ima Hore. Judging from the fact my mother knew what was coming I would have to assume it was. And if it was Mrs. Hore, why would she take her husbands name knowing she would be forever known as Ima Hore?
I remember 2 things about the class. I sat next to a really tall girl named Tamara, and I used to steal erasers out of her desk. Not full erasers. Tamara would take the erasers out of the stubs of her pencils, and for some reason I would try to get them out of her desk without her knowledge. Presumably because I was a clepto in grade 1.
Something I have since gotten over.
Also I remember a little boy in the class knocked over a snow globe on her desk and broke it, and she lost her mind.
This was back before there was a rule about touching students, and it was pretty much a free for all where teachers were concerned. She didn't hit him, but she did grab him and shake him, and make him clean up the broken glass. I don't remember the boys name, or have any memory of us ever speaking, but I remember that!
In grade 2 I had Ms. Dougall, not to be mistaken with my grade 6 teacher Mrs. McDougall who oddly was not Scottish but a small East Indian woman who insisted on calling me by both my first and middle name.
Ms. Dougall was mean! That's all I really remember about her. I couldn't read, and she would yell at me and put me on display. Now you think my lack of knowledge int his department would be blamed on the Hore in the grade 1 class.
See what I did there?
However this was not the case. The only memory I have of her is her yelling at me aaaall the time!
My sisters grade 3 class was overcrowded so some of the students got transfered to another school not far from there called Hillcrest. Since my sister was leaving, I got transfered to! There I had my absolute favorite teacher ever, Mrs. Geldart! And it's a good thing she was my favorite because I had to repeat the 2nd grade due to my lack of reading skills. The first year at Hillcrest I spent the mornings in grade 1 and the afternoons in grade 2. The grade 1 and 2 teachers put together a program to help me learn to read with phonics! You see our lovely Government did away with the phonics system deciding memorization was the way to go. And I had memorized the entire grade 1 reading material. however I could not take the words and place them in another book. And really, I wasn't reading, just remembering the words and the order they were in!
So after much work I finally learned how to read.
In grade 6th I switched schools again and went to Frank L. Bowser.
Grade 7 was Riverview Junior High.
The first 3 months of grade 8 were at Hillcrest again. Then back to Riverview Junior High. Grade 9 was the Wesleyan Christian Academy, that lasted for 3 years. And this should have brought me to my grade 12 year. However, the Christian Academy worked very differently from public school, and I ended up behind when I returned to public school in grade 12. So I had to stay and extra year.
And this is why if ever I referance something and say I was in high school at the time, but going clubbing on the weekends it will make sense because I was 19 when I graduated from high school! And as you know, being Canadian, 19 is the legal drinking age!
Not that I ever drank if you are reading this and I call you mom!
Really, I didn't, not at all! You should go talk to your other daughter though, cause I think I saw her drink a beer once.

Monday, 7 January 2013

sore, tired and cranky

Last night I went to derby for the first time in a long time.
I took an unplanned break in November, and we had December off.
When I went to bed last night I was feeling a bit sore. I got up and took half of a muscle relaxer, because the prescription I have knocks me out.
I knew half of 1 would be enough to help with the pain, and put me to sleep. And as long as I got a full nights rest I would be good.
So, at 11:22 I woke up to a man in the driveway, (I assume a man. Woman tend to be less rude.) beeping his horn over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
This went on for over an hour!
He also had really bad dance music cranked up so loud, it could have been my alarm clock next to my head.
I could have gone outside and yelled at him. I could have called the police.
Instead I remarked he was an asshole, and attempted to sleep through his rude behavior with no success!
Then at 4 I woke up to my son calling for me. He had a nightmare. There was a monster in his nightmare with big teeth and green hair.
He also informed me that sometimes his dad is a monster, but his hair isn't green. Which just goes to show who the fun parent is!
It's me.
In case you missed it.
I told him that the monsters in his dreams just needed a big hug then they would be his friends.
I was to tired to come up with anything better, give me a break!
At 5 he woke up again, I sent my husband in cause I was unsure walking was such a great idea due to the fact that I'm pretty sure I was asleep when I made the request.
He peed the bed. So I had to get up anyway, clean him and change his clothes. He told me he wasn't tired anymore to which I replied "Well that's to bad cause it's 5am!"
I don't think his 3 year old brain can really process how early 5am is, but I feel my tone may have conveyed it properly.
My alarm went off at 6:11am. I hit snooze over and over until about 7. At this point I dragged myself out of bed. Since I showered last night after derby I did not feel a  shower was necessary, which just shoes how exhausted I was at this point, cause at the very least even if I do shower the night before I give myself a quick rinse and wet my hair in the morning.
So I put on make-up in an attempt to look more awake and brush my hair.
At this point I remembered why I wet my hair in the morning even if I have showered the night before. I threw it into a bun, and pinned back my bangs. Then realizing how tired I looked, I unpinned my bangs, wet the hair and attempted something less sloppy.
Well I work with a guy who always comments when I look tired, but never tells me I look nice. I suppose you could say the days he is not commenting on me looking tired he is in fact feeling I look nice, however I am not that positive and prefer to think he lacks basic manners.
Which brings me to another subject. I would like to take a day and write down word for word every conversation I have. What they say, what I say, but also what I am thinking in my head that I would really like to say.
Like when he says "Gee, you look tired. Did someone not get enough sleep last night? he he he" I usually say "I am a bit tired." or "Gee thanks." I am usually thinking "Hey asshole! I am tired, you know why you poor excuse for a human being? I have a kid and a family! When I get home I don't sit in front of a tv! I make dinner, give my kid a bath, do the dishes, tuck my son into bed, then attempt to stay awake long enough to have a conversation with my husband. My son woke up 2 times last night AND I DID THE BEST I COULD DO WITH WHAT LITTLE SLEEP I GOT! WHAT'S YOU'RE EXCUSE FOR LOOKING LIKE THAT EVERYDAY!?"
But I don't say that, because I am much angrier in my head then I am in real life.
I am also a lot wittier in my head then in real life, but not when I'm tired! Honestly though, I crack myself up in my head, really you should hear the crap I come up with, usually a day or 2 after the actual conversation when said comment is no longer relevant.
I also forgot my glasses at home. Which is why when attempting to proofread this it's a little blurry, but I can still see. So I should be good for the day. I may have a headache when I am done, but I woke up with a headache, so really nothing would change.
That is all.


Saturday, 5 January 2013

Holy CRAP!

I'm reading this book. And in the book the girl talks about how she has Social Anxiety Disorder. So she's talking about and describing what it is and how she acts when in awkward situations, and crowds. As I'm reading I'm thinking "Holy CRAP! That's me!"
So last night I'm telling my husband about it. and he asked why I thought I was like that. So I got him to read it, and he looks at me and says "Yup! That's you!"
Which you think would make me feel bad, but it actually made me feel good, because at the very least when I say stupid random things at the most inappropriate times that make people look at me like I have 5 Dragon heads, I'm not alone! And it's not completely my fault!
I've basically taught myself just not to talk if I'm feeling uncomfortable, because if I am in a situation where I feel uncomfortable well, just about anything may come out of my mouth. Which then makes me feel stupid. Which then makes me say something stupider, which then makes feel like an idiot, which then makes me just want to run and hide.
Over time I have gotten better. I basically try and treat every social situation like I'm at work. For some reason I am good at work. I am social, appropriate, and confident. Since that's the only time in life I ever come off that way, I try really really hard to be the customer service Katie, when I'm surrounded by people in non work situations. Which has actually worked really well.
I was thinking I may just become and alcoholic. Because at least then I can blame it on the booze, and apparently you're not allowed to fire alcoholics, you're supposed to coddle them in business situations which at the very least would give me job security! Sure I may lose my family, and control of my bladder, but it's a small price to pay!

Friday, 4 January 2013


After many years of sitting in my room reading, I made a friend.
I was standing in a line on my first day at a new school. I was nervous, and as always when I'm nervous I was saying very random ackward things. I could hear someone laughing, then she tapped me on the shoulder and asked if she could be my friend.
Although we had many things in common, we also had many differences.
For one, she was a hopeless romantic. I am not. I never believed that one day someone would ride up on a white horse and sweep me off my feet. I was just happy if a a guy was nice to me when his friends were looking.
She didn't care what people thought or who was looking. I was forever shy and insecure.
She loved modern art. The more ridiculous the better.
I hate most of it.

Don't get me wrong. There are some incredible artists around today. However, I used to comment to people at my old job that I could take the outside ashtray when it was covered in snow and people were randomly sticking there cigarette butts into it, put it in a refrigerated room in a gallery in New York, call it something ridiulous like "Man Killing Nature" and sell it for thousands of dollars. If I'm pretentious enough while doing it, I could most likely pull this off with little to no effort.

When I was 17 my now closest friend moved back to her bithplace, Manchester England. When I was 18, a few months later, my parents purchased me a plane ticket for Christmas to visit her.
We had so much fun! She brought me to the pub she was working at. Oddly the same pub where the brothers from Oasis got there start. There I met some of the nicest people I have ever encountered. We went shopping, toured to different areas, ate in pubs, and visited many art galleries.
Here is where our differences became very evident.
When visiting older art museums I tended to wander away from the display of the week featuring the up and coming artist of the week, to older parts of the museum. This drove her crazy. Why could I not enjoy the artist on display.
Well, most of it was crap!
Quite literally on one particular occassion.
We went to a display for an artist who I just googled, it was very easy to find him as it seems he is the only one creating artwork with what is tastefully being called "Elephant Dung". Translations, he plays with Elephant poop!
This artist would put elephant poop on a canvas, decorate it with beads, and put it on display.

I'm gonna give you a moment to absorb what I just said.

You good? Or do you need another moment?

Okay, so after staring unimpressed at beaded poop, I wandered.
In this gallery I found temprarily there on display the original Lady of the Lake!
I love this painting! I could not understand why there were 2 schools on field trips there to look at poop, but none of them were coming to see this spectacular painting!
My friend was unimpressed by my wandering which began a small public argument where I denounced in front of many the talent of this artist, and called his work what I quite honestly felt it was, and what it quite literally was.

7 years later I visited this friend again, this time in Scotland.
She again took me to galleries, this time featuring only modern art. While she wondered at the talent of a guy who drew a line with paint in his computer, printed it, glued it to a lite brite, then stuck 1 peg in it! I wondered if she would marvel at the full creations I had made with my lite brite as a child, that featured many colorful pegs instead of just 1.
Probably not.
But you never know, I could be on to something here!