I was having a conversation with my husband last night and a question came to mind.
How do bad parents feel about good parents?
That sounds like a terrible question. But you hear all the time "She's an awful mother!"
And frankly there are just some bad parents out there, but who are we to judge what is good and what is bad.
I believe that what's social services is here for.
I could be wrong.
And why does the mother always get the blame?
I babysat for a friend for a short period.
Their child was the same age as mine. He came to me everyday smelling awful! His clothes wreaked of cigarette smoke, and at 2.5 years of age he had the worst case of cradle cap I had ever seen matting down his hair. They rarely sent diapers, and even his changes of clothes felt greasy and smelled bad.
He would pick up pencils and pens and smoke them. And he would take his sippy cups and hold it in the air and say "Cheers!" and take a shot.
Yeah, a 2 year old shouldn't know that.
Just my personal opinion.
He knew that, but he knew none of his colors, shapes, where his nose was on his face. Things I had been teaching my son, no one had ever taken the time to teach him.
So I began washing his clothes, bathing him, and trying to teach him things with my sons help.
To me, his parents were "Bad parents".
I guess it's all how we look at it though.
To them, they feed him and keep a roof over his head. I do the same. On the weekends, I'm still doing it. So are his parents, but they are also having parties and showing their 2 year old how to take a shot.
And trust me, it's not like I haven't left my son with a sitter and gone out and partied and acted stupid! We all need some time to remember who we used to be!
This question came to mind as friends of ours who are big partiers are about to have a baby, I think any day now. I asked if they knew about the big change that was about to happen. He said he thought they did, but then when we discussed it we realized that they have 3 friends with a kid. Us, and 2 others. The ones their around the most never stopped partying. You wouldn't even know they had a kid! The kid spends most of her time with a sitter, cause the 2 of them are always out partying. Mid day, you will most likely find them at a bar, not at home with the kid.
Now, I don't know this other couple well, I have met them a handful of times in passing, so I only had a basic idea of what they were like. Most of this was told to me last night.
The other 2 couples they know are us, and another couple that are actually even bigger home bodies them we are.
I know, who knew people could be worse then my husband and I?
It can be done. the mixture of who you are, and children. I have a friend who has found the perfect balance, and I really envy her, cause I have a hard time with it because I have spent so much time at home over mothering, that I have mommy guilt when I am not around.
However it brings to mind the question, the parents that would have to sit and think about it when trying to pick their child out in a crowd, how do they feel about us who wouldn't let our toddlers wander off into a big group of people by themselves?