Saturday, 5 January 2013

Holy CRAP!

I'm reading this book. And in the book the girl talks about how she has Social Anxiety Disorder. So she's talking about and describing what it is and how she acts when in awkward situations, and crowds. As I'm reading I'm thinking "Holy CRAP! That's me!"
So last night I'm telling my husband about it. and he asked why I thought I was like that. So I got him to read it, and he looks at me and says "Yup! That's you!"
Which you think would make me feel bad, but it actually made me feel good, because at the very least when I say stupid random things at the most inappropriate times that make people look at me like I have 5 Dragon heads, I'm not alone! And it's not completely my fault!
I've basically taught myself just not to talk if I'm feeling uncomfortable, because if I am in a situation where I feel uncomfortable well, just about anything may come out of my mouth. Which then makes me feel stupid. Which then makes me say something stupider, which then makes feel like an idiot, which then makes me just want to run and hide.
Over time I have gotten better. I basically try and treat every social situation like I'm at work. For some reason I am good at work. I am social, appropriate, and confident. Since that's the only time in life I ever come off that way, I try really really hard to be the customer service Katie, when I'm surrounded by people in non work situations. Which has actually worked really well.
I was thinking I may just become and alcoholic. Because at least then I can blame it on the booze, and apparently you're not allowed to fire alcoholics, you're supposed to coddle them in business situations which at the very least would give me job security! Sure I may lose my family, and control of my bladder, but it's a small price to pay!

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